Does this mean yes?

A black crop top and skirt doesn’t mean yes.

A hoodie and joggers doesn’t mean yes.

A mesh top and denim skirt doesn’t mean yes.

A black pencil skirt and t-shirt doesn’t mean yes.

All of these outfits were worn by real women who were real victims of sexual assault. No matter what you are wearing: no matter how short the skirt, no matter how red the lipstick - it’s not an invitation to be violated by another human being, and is most definitely not an problem that so many individuals should have to suffer from.

One in five women in England and Wales have experienced some type of sexual assault since the age of 16, according to official analysis of violent crime figures.

It’s a mad world we live in. A world where women are shamed for reporting sexual assault. A world where men feel like they can’t open up about being sexually violated themselves. A world where the clothes someone wears, is an invitation into their body. A world where people are afraid to walk alone. A world where the ‘justification’ stands in the phrase ‘they were asking for it’.

In actual fact, what someone is wearing has nothing to do with them getting assaulted or raped. In most cases it’s to do with ‘power and control’, which Katie Russell from Rape Crisis England and Wales describes. She explains to Carbon that in 90% of cases, the perpetrator is ‘overwhelming’ and ‘known to the victim prior to the attack’. ‘It happens in people's homes and places of work, and countless other places where we usually feel safe. It has nothing to do with what the victim / survivor was wearing.’

‘Annie’ was asleep at a friends house with some of her mates (a group of boys where her friendship with all of them with purely platonic) and was asleep in bed wearing joggers and a hoodie, and was awoken by one of her male friends inside of her. She was frozen. Feeling completely vulnerable, shocked, scared and alone. After investigation she was left with no friends after them not believing her, and no justice. ‘I thought that’s where our relationship was going.’’

Rape and sexual assault is a taboo subject - everyone seems to have their own opinion. It’s wrong on so many levels and should never be excused or supported - even slightly. It’s wrong.

I’m sure you’ve heard of the many excuses people conjure up to somehow justify rape and assault. It can’t be justified.

Katie states ‘’There are a lot of powerful and enduring myths and stereotypes still out there about rape and sexual violence and abuse, including related to who experiences it and who perpetrates it. One such myth is that sexual offenders, predominantly men, 'lose control' and can't help themselves because they're someone so overwhelmingly affected by what their victim is wearing or not wearing that they can't exercise basic self-restraint, respect, decency or empathy. This is a dangerous and insulting myth. Do we really believe adult men can't take responsibility for their own actions? We need to place responsibility for sexual violence firmly where it belongs - with the perpetrator(s) alone.’’ And even as a writer, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Since when does it become okay to touch someone inappropriately. Someone who is a complete stranger, without consent, and then carry on after repeatedly being told no. Since when does it become ok for the victim to press charges and endure the struggle of DNA tests, statements, CCTV and identifying your own predator to then find out that they fled the country and got away with it. For nothing to be done further. All the suffering for nothing. Now it could easily happen again to someone else. And that’s just one story. One truly unfair story. But this is the case for so many victims, with an average of just a third of perpetrators getting convicted for their crimes.

There is so much focus on what women choose to wear, especially surrounding this issue. The way a women chooses to dress does not and should not define the sort of person she is, or the actions taken towards her. I’m not saying that men don’t face similar problems and objectification - it is just a lot more prevalent in women. I’m sure the phrase ‘double standards’ rings a bell.

A situation: It’s a long hot summers day (surprisingly for the UK, it’s not raining). The sun is beating down and people are relaxing in the park. Men are walking around with shorts, flip flops and no t-shirt - showing off their tan and there are some women walking around in shorts and a bikini top- having just finished sunbathing. Whilst walking down the street these females are greeted with at least 3 wolf whistles, 2 men walking past staring at their breasts, crude comments from the previously mentioned topless men and disapproving looks from parents, causing these said females to wrap themselves up in their cardigans and cower away. The men however, continue drinking their beers and playing football in the sun (if we are sticking to stereotypes). So. Double Standards.

First of all the women are wearing bikini tops, whilst not the most conservative piece of clothing, it is already more than the males are wearing. Secondly, it’s hot. And in England, this is something we are not used to. Even if it was the middle of December, yes it would be stupid but if I wanted to wear a bikini top then of course I should be able to!

Why should men face no consequences when they choose to wear what they want - but if women even dare to show a little bit of skin then it’s a crime. Or at least it might turn into one.

‘We rarely hear men criticised for what they wear in the same kinds of terms as women and if and when men are abused or assaulted, reference is rarely made to what they were wearing at the time, which is of course perfectly correct as how they were dressed is completely irrelevant to what's happened to them. Katie emphasises that ‘The same standards should be applied to women and girls. The fact that they're not yet is another sign that we still have some way to go before we reach equality between sexes and genders.’

This is something that I believe as a young woman, we need to work for.

Even in the 21st century we are still stuck in traditionalist, sexist views, especially with regards to women and what they wear and the issues that come with this.

No matter what a someone chooses to wear on a particular day makes them accountable to be raped. The other night I chose to wear a lace bodysuit because it looked great with my new jeans. I didn’t put it on to get attention, and definitely not as an invitation to be sexually assaulted.

It’s true that some people are so delusional that they believe they can treat someone in a certain way simply because of what they decided to wear, and don’t see any wrong doing. This is unbelievably the ‘norm’. Being a girl, growing up I’ve always had to ‘be careful’ and ‘not walk by myself’, ‘Don’t talk to strangers’, ‘ignore the people who shout and beep’ and most infuriatingly ‘keep your skirt BELOW the knee’. My brother on the other-hand - nothing. ‘Have fun!’ And he’s out of the door. This isn’t just about me and my childhood. This is a constant in so many young girls lives. Katie states that women and girls have been brought up to expect this ‘Because women and girls have historically and still experience more sexual violence than men and boys, and because sexual harassment is so commonplace for us from such an early age, our parents and others understandably want to protect us and encourage us to be cautious and wary. This in turn builds fear and means that most of us carefully consider and even alter our behaviours in order to avoid sexual violence and harassment, particularly from men and boys. But we shouldn't have to have our freedoms curbed in this way. We should be able to live our lives as freely and as free from fear as anyone else. This is one of the reasons reducing sexual violence and sexism is so important.’

Only a clear ‘yes’ means yes.